July31,2004

This would have been my 15 years of being married to Damon. We were married for 8 years, and divorced now for 7. Two years ago, my fiancee and I were in a catastrophic car accident which left me incapacitated. When I touched base with Damon and told him of the event, he remarked, "That was never a good day for you, was it?" He always had a way with words.

Anyway, I've been struggling to get back in shape, after being a near cripple for 2 years. I went from a trim 120 pounds to probably over 170. I have no idea what my highest weight was since I wouldn't weigh myself, and was content to deceive myself into thinking I was no heavier than 140. HA!

I've been dieting for over two months, and without cheating, either, and my weight is 153. I imagine I was at least 20 lbs. heavier two months ago. However, I can only proceed in this fashion, day by day, and watch myself become the person I used to be.

My goal weight is 118-125. Since I am athletic and muscular, even though I am only 5'3", below 118, I am emaciated, although that sounds good to me, now.

Today my menu was:
Breakfast-
2 eggs, small portion cheese

Spent 1 hour in gym- 1/2 hour on treadmill at 3.5 and elevation of 3. 20 minutes on bike, and 10 minutes on stairstepper. I had to lay off of the weights since I reinjured my neck doing bench presses. I think I busted another disc. I've been rupturing a disc every few months since my accident.

LUNCH-
can of sardines
low-carb Dannon Yogurt

Dinner-
Sirloin patty with cheese
1 pickle
baked beans

Snack
Sugar free jello pudding

8 glasses of water

This is pretty much a typical day. I wish I would lose faster, but, my metabolism seems resistant.